pinkWORLD ////

Friday, April 21, 2006

Dilemma

As the water run through my body, my mind cleared and a dilemma suddenly presented itself:
“How truthful should we be to our closest friends?”

It is quite difficult to answer and almost as hard to ask this question. I always say to my friends: "Keep it honest with me! Scream, shout and kick if you have to, but keep it clean". So why can’t I do the same???
Why is it so hard to say the truth to them? Why do I need to hide my feelings and demand less than what I think I deserve?
I should know that they will listen, understand and perhaps recognise it as truth or fight it back, just as I would.
So, what keeps me from being completely honest?
Maybe I'm afraid of being right, maybe I’m afraid of being wrong...or stupid, there are to many maybes in my life already, do I need another one?
The problem resides in how true is my truth.
What if I am wrong? What happens then? Can things go back to what they were?
Will this pain inside stop?
Will I need to hide my feelings once more, pretend everything is alright? I'm so good at that.
What about you? Do you have the answer?
Or are you too afraid of even ask it?

1 Comments:

At 10:36 PM, Anonymous said…

"Shall we always bw truthful to our friends?" Pinksofia asked. That's an interesting question that we don't ask ourselves very often. Sometimes we wonder if we should tell this or that to a certain person and, even if we decide not to, we don't think if that's being truthful or not.
We all lie to each other some time in our lifes. Some of them are innocent and some are not that innocent. It's part of human nature. Although we always point our fingers to one another when one of those lies are discovered.
To me, friends are one of the biggest gifts humankind has and they should be cherished and respected. However, and above all, we should be truthful to ourselves in the first place. That's the most important. If we want to share our life and secrets with our friends, it should be our choice and not an obligation. We may not know everything about a friend's life but still he/she is our friend because he's there when we need him/her.
I don't care if you are completely truthful or not to me, I know in my heart that you are my friend because you've made part of my life for ten years now. If you have secrets and feelings you don't share, it's because you feel better like that and if you are ok, then I'm ok too.
I love you very much, you're a sister to me no matter the secrets, the truths you share with me or the moments we have together. There are soulmates in love and I believe there are soulmates in friendship too and it's not a secret or an innocent lie that is going to destroy that.
Always feel good about and with yourself first.